You know, we are having a hard morning and I KNOW that there are so many out there struggling today as well, so this is for you. You know who you are;)
It’s pouring rain outside. The water drizzles down the greenhouse window in front of my desk. Usually the rain is calming and serene. But this morning it feels heavy and bleak. Just a hard morning. Thinking about our audacious goals and great big dreams, and pausing to reflect on how far we’ve come…
Moving to San Diego was an easy decision for us, and two years later we are still giddy about living here, we love it so much. However, the past 2 years have been extremely difficult.
To be excited and motivated and DRIVEN mentally, only to have your body stop you dead in your tracks, is frustrating. My kidney disease has been in a sort of dormancy period over the last 6 months but has reminded me that it’s still there for a week or so now. Dave has manifested rheumatoid arthritis and has difficulty doing any type of physical labor, which has been his profession since he was 16. Then throw in 3 children, one needing round the clock care and complete physical dependence, getting work done seems impossible. There have been times over the past two years when I cried out “Why? Why have you given me this powerful drive to create and inspire and serve, only to give me such physical pain that it’s impossible to do ANYTHING, let alone care for my family and home? Why?” I think its okay to ask these questions. We all ask why from time to time.
Asking is how we find the answer. It’s how we find peace with it. Dave and I now know, that the pain and the frustration and at times DESPERATION, were opportunities for RAPID growth that will benefit us immensely in our quest to create, inspire and serve others. Guys, don’t ever pray for strength, because it will be given and not in the way you think! Patience and strength and blessings are not handed out in their final forms, no. We are blessed with circumstances in which we will learn and develop these traits for ourselves.
Often we have had many well-meaning friends and loved ones say
“Why don’t you just moved back to Utah? It will be easier.”
Yep, I agree, it would. We might have family to fall back on and comfort and it would be so easy. But easy and comfortable do not equal challenge and growth and eventually success.
A goldfish living in a small bowl will do just fine, but will only grow to the size of the habitat its in. Put that little goldfish into a pond and it becomes a great beautiful koi.
As difficult as it is, we are slowly growing day by day, challenge by challenge. We won’t give up, we won’t back down. It’s always at our darkest moments right when we are about to give up that the sun peeks through the clouds and beams down on us.
And I think most of us have, from time to time, surprised ourselves to find out just how capable we can be during times of trial.In the society we live in, it’s not popular to talk about our difficult times. We put on a happy face and tell everyone we are fine. We don’t want anyone to know that we don’t know how we are going to come up with our next meal or if we’ll have a place to live next month or a car to drive tomorrow. We feel like we’ve failed when things get TRULY rough and we hide our worries and pain behind smiling faces and “I’m fine.”
So to you reading this today, you are NOT alone. We get you. We are all in this crazy life thing together. This moment, this day, this struggle, it’s TEMPORARY. Tomorrow is another day, another chance, a clean white canvas. You CAN overcome challenges and difficulty. You haven’t failed until you stop trying.
What are your thoughts? Tell us in the comments, let’s support and uplift each other:)